Anger & Hurt

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How do you respond when you are angry? Are you quiet in your rage or are you a tornado cutting a swath through all in your path? Do you hold onto it for a long time or do you let it go?

I’m a rather happy-go-lucky individual personally, so it is fairly rare for me to actually be truly angry. I may get irritated or perturbed, but real honest to goodness anger, is not something that I have to confront often in myself. Even when I do get angry, more often than not, I’m not angry at another person. I’m angry at myself. Angry that I did/didn’t do something that I should have done. Angry that I am reacting in an irrational manner. Angry that I can’t bring myself to do what I know is best. Most of all though, I’m angry that I hurt. I’m angry that I allowed myself to invest in something/someone and then I got hurt when they either blew it or walked away. So which is it? Am I angry or am I hurt?

The two are not mutually exclusive I’m sorry to say. Instead they seem to work hand-in-hand, each one fueling the other and that’s why anger and grudges are so destructive. They destroy friendships, relationships, families, churches, schools, and even countries. One of the defining characteristics of humanity is our capacity for feeling and emotion, but that is both our greatest strength and our greatest vulnerability. When we get angry, more often than not, at the root of that anger, is pain. Then the anger comes and we want others to feel the pain that we feel, we want them to know the hurt and despair. By dwelling in our own pain and allowing anger to overtake us, we subconsciously (and sometimes consciously) set out to inflict our pain on others, whether they rightly deserve it or not.

Now there are those that just walk away and don’t look back when they get angry, but if you walk away from a problem, does it cease to be a problem or have you just walked away? Is walking away truly dealing with the problem? No. If anything, you make it worse on all involved, because it leaves an open wound that continues to cause pain which feeds the anger and resentment that began the problem in the first place.

Don’t let your anger hurt others just because you are hurting. Even if the other person hurt you, the moment you decide to hurt the other person back, you lose any moral high-ground you may have had and cause yourself more pain. If they have done wrong, it is possible to hold them accountable without making it personal and causing undue private pain. Don’t let your anger override your compassion or caring for your fellow man.

Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.

Ephesians 4:25-27 NASB

What is your ____ worth?

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What is your TIME worth?

What is your MONEY worth?

What is your WORK worth?

What is your SELF worth?
These are questions we all ask ourselves. In fact, many times how we answer these questions is how we define ourselves. Will we be selfish with our time? Will we be money hungry and obsessed with profit ? Will we believe our work is worth more than the next person’s or worth less?  Or finally, will we be so self-absorbed that we consume ourselves or that we see no value in our continued existence? 
How do you value things? Personally, self-worth and worth of my work have always been the things I struggled with the most. I’ve fought against body- image issues for over half of my life and I’ve struggled to comprehend the value of things I create like my art. 

The body-image issues are something that is mostly in the past, not to say they don’t show their ugly mugs from time to time but I like to think I have a much better awareness of my physical worth now than I have in the past.

 My art is another story. I love my art, I work quite hard on it, but there always seems to be someone better, at least in my perception. That makes it difficult when it comes to pricing my original pieces, because you can really only charge what someone is willing to pay, but it’s virtually impossible to know that in advance. Valuing your own effort is difficult, and it can be frustrating, as I’m sure anyone who has ever tried selling anything homemade would tell you. For me, it helps to ask a group of my friends if they would honestly pay that much for something, it helps to put things in perspective. 

So how do you define value and worth? What areas do you struggle with? 

Simple Thing = Big Difference 

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It is still a fact of biology that we all have parents. We all have them, whether we’re close or not, whether they’re with us or not, is another matter entirely. We are also all shaped by our parents in some way,  both by what they do and don’t do. We learn the most though, from the the actions that we observe in them. 

This post is kind of inspired by a combination of things. I am one of those blessed with parents whom I still see, and last night we watched a movie together. We watched The Accountant ( click here if you want info). It was a pretty good movie. It had a fairly original plot concept that I found intriguing which is rare today in the world of comic book movies and remakes. Anyway in the movie, the titular character is quite literally shaped into what he becomes, by the choices his parents made. Now the titular character has a form of high-functioning autism which led to my parents and I talking a bit about an old school friend of mine who has Aspergers who just graduated from college.  Now my dad knows my friend (small school) and they talked quite a bit whenever they happened to meet at school functions, but he didn’t know my friend when he was younger like I did. When my friend was younger, he often had a hard time relating to people and picking up the subtleties of human interaction, as is typical of his condition. Over the years though, he has learned ways to recognize things and interact which is what we were discussing. Anyway, we were right in the middle of talking and Dad got up, got his phone and started calling someone. He called my friend, just to let him know we were thinking about him. 

When was the last time you did that? Dropped everything and called someone just to say you were thinking about them? My friend was obviously surprised to receive the call but he was also very pleased and grateful because he’d had a rough couple days and that call raised his spirits. By the time they hung up they actually had made tentative plans to meet up for lunch next week. 

Now there may be plenty of things my dad and I don’t always agree on but I would still say that he and my mom have taught me so much about how to care. About just caring for the people around you, no matter the circumstance, whether you met them five minutes or five years ago. All of my life, they have shown me by their actions, that everyone matters. That there are no un-important people. That every single person on this planet has a role and a purpose. My dad didn’t know that my friend had had a bad couple of days, but a simple phone call made a big difference for him. 

So what small simple thing can you do today that may just make a big difference to someone else? 

Check In

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Hello hello, I am still breathing. It’s been a pretty crazy year for me just as I’m sure it has been for you. 2016 sure was something wasn’t it? It was definitely one of those years that punches you right in the solar plexus and, so far, 2017 is the year that is standing over us looking down and trying to decide whether it wants to help us back up or not. Here’s to hoping and praying that it’s the former rather than the latter!!!!!

Today I was at a Ladies Tea that my Everyday Job puts on and it was a great deal of fun. Had some tasty food and fun entertainment. I recently got a brand new set of watercolors to play with so I donated a couple of quick pictures that I did for the door prizes and I think the ladies who received them will enjoy them. I’ve posted pictures of them below but forgive the quality and masking tape. Took the pics while they were still drying. 

That’s all for today! Hopefully I’ll be able to get back to posting more often. Fingers crossed at least. Take care till next time! 

Professionalism and Propriety

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I don’t know know about anyone else, but one of the areas that I have seen a major shift in today’s culture is in regards to professional behavior. This has especially been on my mind as I put together my own business plans. Now in my, admittedly limited experience, it is my understanding that as a business owner, you provide a product or a service to the consumer and without that consumer, you have no business. Therefore, it would stand to reason that you would want to do your best to keep that consumer pleased with your product and/or service as a matter of propriety. Right?

WELL, recently a small diner was opened in my hometown. Most of the people I knew were rather excited at the prospect because, let’s face it, it is food after all. Haha 🙂

Anyway, this diner had a bit of a rough start their first week. The food truck that was supposed to deliver food didn’t show up and that among a few other factors led to very long wait times on orders.( By long I mean up to an hour and a half.) Most people were understanding and in online reviews acknowledged that the waitstaff was courteous and food was pretty good once they got it, but as expected, there were a few bad reviews. Unfortunately, the owner/manager then proceeded to Facebook stalk, slander, insult and publicly berate those people, not only at the restaurant but on social media.

Now, he’s posted an apology, of sorts, claiming that what he said was misconstrued. The thing is though, from what I’ve seen, there’s not a ton of room for anything to be misconstrued. The screen captures circulating web pretty clearly show the conversations and derogatory remarks he made. I realize he is likely not a horrible person because I have seen posts by people who know him that say as much, but I just can’t quite get over the massive breach of professionalism he displayed.

The way I see it, he has done nearly irreparable damage to not only his own reputation but to that of the business as well. It just goes to show you how much damage a single, let alone multiple, post[s] on social media can do to a business and the importance of professionalism and propriety in the business place.